Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
