You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize