I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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