I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize