Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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