Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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