So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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