Your tits are I can't wait for
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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