I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
