The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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