I don't think brook has ever known best
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
