i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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