I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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