How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
