Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
