thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
