you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize