don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
