There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
