it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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