After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
