this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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