I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
