She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
