when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The air taste purple.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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