I am puke
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
