Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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