Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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