My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
