haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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