I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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