I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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