DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
