What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
