i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
