in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
