Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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