do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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