these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
