we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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