just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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