We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
