She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
