You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize