What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
