i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
