So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just threw up on my dentist
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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