even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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