Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You left your phone here
Wait...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
