it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
