is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
