So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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