i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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