Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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