I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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