Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
