Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
