we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
