i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's never too late to be topless.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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