I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
