have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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