This dress was meant to end up on your floor
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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