..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
