Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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