We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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