my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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